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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ryan 'Angel' Boell's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 14th, 2003
9:18 am
Dreams
So i finally crashed around 9 last night. It had to be then because Marie had classes and I dont remember her coming in. But the dreams came. Boy did they come.

1. I was vacationing with Kevin in Europe. We were in France and my French got us by. Then we went to Germany and the waiter said Hello in German and then I said Thank You in German. He was impressed. I told him my family were German and thats all the German I knew. I asked what kind of Bratwurst they had because if I was in Germany, I wanted to eat like a German.

Then Kevin and I left and all I had on me was my debit card. We caught a cab to the hotel where the guy spoke French. It started snowing and we both wanted hot chocolate. We met this girl (who looked like Turtles Sasha) and wanted us to go clubbing with her. Kevin stayed home and I went. I cut myself several times eating this sugary glass. She said it was Absinthe and I thought it was Tina (Crystal Meth).

Kevin and I took a tour on a bus near a river. We saw Princess Di and Charles. He said it was Camilla and Charles and I told him I knew what Di looked like and it was her. Woke Up Fighting with Kevin.

2. I had a dream wehere all I remember was Jason Vorhees was in it and I was stabbed in the stomach. Woke Up Screaming.

3. Something involving my 15 year old brother Kody and my mom moving into a new house. I was helping her vaccuum but it ran out of gas. So the only local place to go fill it up was at a gas station by an abanonded carnival graounds. I told mom it looked awesome but she said it hasnt been up and running in years. The girl who helped us was real nice and wore a cool metal shirt. I asked if it was hers and she said that it was made for another lady and she was dropping the 1000 dollars off today.

4. Although Ive never actually met oakthorne, I know him from EN World and we do talk. Anyway ... I was visiting Joseph (oakthorne) with my mom. We were listening to One Night In Bangkok but after the first chorus, it changed and was no longer a song i recognized, yet, everyone else knew it. I told Joseph he was Bi-polar and going through a difficult time. We all went to sleep and when I awoke, I couldnt open my right eye. It was sealed shut. Woke Up Screaming.

Worksheets Coming Soon

(13 Spells Casts | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Saturday, November 8th, 2003
11:37 pm
The Planetary Alignment ...
Of course it's all just glittery New Age froufrou moonbeam crapola that don't mean nuthin'. Sure it is.

Of course it's all just easily dismissible astrological hooey, just another big everyday lunar eclipse that just so happens to coincide with an incredibly rare and unusual and truly beautiful planetary configuration that, if you believe the signs, heralds a potentially enormous and profound spiritual awakening for humans (that's you) not seen since 1987's famous Harmonic Convergence, and not really even then.

It's been dubbed the Harmonic Concordance, and it's happening this very weekend, Nov. 8 and 9, and resonating very powerfully for a couple weeks thereafter. And it is, by all accounts and across all metaphysical spectra and belief and astrological notion and even into scientific communities, something damn precious and rare and hopeful and spiritually pregnant.

Simply put, it's an event wherein Sun, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and the planetoid Chiron all position themselves to form what's called a grand sextile pattern, or six-pointed star (a.k.a. Star of David), to go along with that rare full lunar eclipse. Can you say "supercharged"?

The precise astrological chart that maps this imminent setup is pretty astounding. Even if you know nothing of star-sign hoo-ha and couldn't tell an astrological chart from a ham sandwich, it's a bit difficult not to be impressed with the beauty of the geometric patterns, the symmetry and grace and wow. You can tell just by a glance -- this thing's loaded.

The Harmonic Concordance is one of those moments. It's one of those impossibly rare opportunities for humankind to take a step forward, and inward, cosmically and spiritually speaking. It's a doorway, a divine satellite hookup, a chance to open more of our psychic and divine eyeballs and tune in a little more deeply to the truth that we really are, in fact, spiritual beings having a human experience, and not the other way around. Think about it.

For those who pay attention to such things and for those who care to participate, the Harmonic Concordance is, quite simply, a chance to connect more profoundly with the hum and spin and blood and consciousness of, you know, God. Or the divine. Or something.

For those who don't, for the millions who don't care or don't want to feel it or have better things to do like pick the lint from the couch or watch more warmongering on Fox News or eat a ham sandwich, well, the moment, the awareness, the opportunity will simply stroll on by, giving you only the faintest of sad glances, and everything will continue as normal. Sort of. But not really.

Yeah right whatever, you might say. Incredibly easy it is to get all sneery and rational and indifferent when confronted with such unusual mystical phenomena, to be ridiculously literal and roll your eyes and scratch your groin and just sort of ignore the major and irrefutable beckonings and winkings of the universe and go on with your day. Hey, it's your choice.

After all, everyone knows the world is teeming with New Age charlatans and cheeseball astrologers and cheap crystal necklaces and pink unicorns and big fluffy clouds shaped like Botticelli's cherubs. Right?

Much easier to believe it's all a pile of glittery hippie fluff than to acknowledge the raw and messy reality that there are indeed very powerful truths out there, bona fide healers, authentic shamans, genuine magic and unfathomable planetary power, if you're willing to crank your intuition and sift through the fluff to find them.

Clearly, bitter skepticism and rationality and cold, ass-clenched scientific worldviews have been pounded into us like karmic nails into a psychic coffin. We consider ourselves all God-like and worshipful and religious and hundreds of millions believe in a higher power and some sort of big angry macho God spitting fire and blood and controlling everything like some sort of grandmaster puppeteer drunk on angel dust and sadism and bad easy-listening radio.

And yet how sadly ironic is it, how telling that, when it comes to the universe itself, when it comes to what's available to us right now, right out there, the vibration and energy and maybe us just sitting quietly and trying to get a sense of the shockingly cool interconnectedness of all spirit and matter and breath and funk and sex and love and fire, we just scoff and shrug and go watch "Everybody Loves Raymond."

Or you can choose to agree with most astronomers and scientists and informed personages who aren't somehow suckered into the whole cute Adam-and-Eve yarn, who all know that humans are, in fact, made up of stardust.

That we are the entirely random and bizarrely happenstance end result of cataclysmic cosmic explosions from billions of years back, and that we still retain vestigial awareness of that cosmic information, that star seed, waiting for us to recognize it and work with it and shape it into something, dare we say, beautiful.

And, armed with this sense, you can investigate the Concordance phenomenon further, do a bit of homework, inform yourself and supercharge your spirit and maybe think of something you might want to do this weekend and for the next couple weeks thereafter to tune in, to participate a bit, see what's what. Rituals. Meditations. Celebrations. Deep sex. Love. A stroll through sacred grounds. Lying on the lawn and ogling at the sky.

You can turn off all media and all Web sites and all phones and all modern white noise, just for a day, just for a while, and just get quiet and listen, really listen. In the shower. While driving. While at work. Whatever. However. Set your divine intent. Send that intent to loved ones. And your dog. And the planet. Simple, really.

Here's this reminder: You really don't need a Harmonic Concordance to, you know, up your vibe and strut through that spiritual portal whenever you like. You have access all the time, if you're willing to work at it and shun religious dogma and notice the divine swirling and licking all around you. But this potent astrological moment sure makes the karmic dildo that much more, you know, slippery.

The sites that discuss the Concordance are a little cheesy and HTML amateurish. Sure, some of the notions are somewhat New Age-y and wind-chimey and maybe not your normal numbed and rational informational experience. Do not be distracted. Do not think that is all there is. The messenger is not the message. There really is something to it all, if you're willing to look, and think, and investigate, and give it a spiritual shot.

It is, as always, your choice. The Harmonic Concordance is yours to misunderstand and reject and ignore, or absorb and intuit and celebrate. You know, just like life.

Current Mood: accomplished

(3 Spells Casts | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

9:53 pm
Lunar Eclipse Cleaning
Started: 7:49 PM EST
Finished: 8:06 pm EST

The cleansing and consecrating of my tools and Sacred Space went far too quickly. Though, I didnt have that much to cleanse and consecrate and my room is small.

I also have been practicing for 11 years. With tonight's Full Moon Lunar Eclipse Grand Trine in effect, im sure the Boundry Bewteen The Worlds (not to mention the actual date of Samhain), was weak to begin with.

I feel acomplished and I feel better now that my space is all cleansed and consecrated.

Current Mood: creative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

3:39 pm
Library
Apprentice To Power, A Dictionary Of Superstitions, Oxford Pocket Latin Dictionary, Flying Without A Broom, The Pagan Mysteries Of Halloween, The Dream Dictionary, Gay Astrology, The Spiral Dance, 365 Goddess, Who Are You? 101 Ways Of Seeing Yourself, The Goddess Path, Halloween, The Grimoire Of Lady Sheba, To Ride A Silver Broomstick, Totems, Animal Magick, Angels Companions In Magick, To Stir A Magick Cauldron, A Grimoire Of Shdadows, Magical Rites From The Crystal Well, A Witch Alone, The Book Of Lilith, Enchantment Of The Faerie Realm, Shaman In A 9 To 5 World, Your Book Of Shadows, A Witches Book Of Dreams, Embracing The Moon, The Craft Companion, To Light A Sacred Flame, The Ancient And Shining Ones, Elemental Power, The Devil, The Book Of Runes, The Complete Book Of Devils And Demons, Tarot Spells, Altars made easy, A Guide To The Gods, A Dictionary Of Angels, Spinning Spells Weaving Wonders, A Guide To Faery Folk

Current Mood: creative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Friday, November 7th, 2003
7:36 pm

(1 Spells Cast | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

7:34 pm
Invocation To The Oneiroi
Hail mighty Oneiroi!
Aspects of the Dreaming,
Guardians of the Unreachable Oceans of the West.
I do awaken you from your slumber -
To Watch us.
To Guide us.
To Inform us.
To Entertain us.
The stage has been set and the curtains rise.

Hail Icelus - Dream Weaver of Humans.
The Actor.
Many persona's you act.
Different masks you wear.
Emotions and Life.
I do summon, stir and call ye forth.
Hear me!

Hail Phobetor - Dream Weaver of Animals.
The Stage Hand.
The trainer of animals.
Taming the beasts.
Nature and Evolution.
I do summon, stir and call ye forth.
Hear me!

Hail Phantasos - Dream Weaver of Objects.
The Prop Director.
Many object you create.
The maker of props.
Technology and Invention.
I do summon, stir and call ye forth.
Hear me!

Hail Morpheus - Dream Weaver of All.
The Scriptwriter.
The writer.
The creater.
Passion and Desire.
I do summon, stir and call ye forth.
Hear me!

Sons of Nyx and Somnius hear our cries,
We summon you forth from thy lullaby.
Awaken now for our dreams are borne,
Issue forth dreams from Horn.
Come from the West - the Unreachable Ocean,
Set forth the night, our dreams in motion.


Current Mood: creative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

7:31 pm
Dream Chant
Holy Mother, Goddess Divine,
I stand before your sacred shrine.
This person won't listen or hear
My words tickle at deafened ear.

Holy Mother, Goddess Divine,
Send a dream, awaken the mind.
Through the vision we might live
The lesson you so freely give.

Holy Mother, Goddess Divine
Send us your enchanted design
Clear out the cobwebs, tear down walls
Carry our message through spirit calls.

Current Mood: creative

(2 Spells Casts | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Friday, August 22nd, 2003
8:26 am
[Dream] Flying and Jason Vorhees
Date: Friday, August 22, 2003
Title: Without Wings

I dont remember enough of the dream because I awoke early this morning thinking I would go back to sleep and finish the dream (stupid me), but this is what I do recall ...

I was at a Halloween party of some kind and their were rich fratboys everywhere. We were at a mansion. Im on my way to the bathroom and I run into Tim angelsprince.

The scene changes and Im outside in the open field and a friend (looks like Oliver Platt), tells me to fly up and guide him as he is running from Jason. He is trying to sacrafice himself so Jason won't kill me.

I wind up crashing into the ground.

The scene changes and im running down the hall with my friend (who looks like Oliver Platt) and Jason is in tow. We enter the room and there is an obvious military type guy there and we push past him trying to explain Jason is after me. He scoffs and I notice Chains around the room.

Jason bursts in and Oliver Platt pushes the military guy in front of me and Jason takes his head off with a chain.

I woke up.

Current Mood: anxious

(2 Spells Casts | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Thursday, August 21st, 2003
4:25 pm
Update !
Havent been dreaming much since the past full moon, though, i have given remote viewing another go with astounding success.

(1 Spells Cast | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Monday, August 11th, 2003
8:29 am
[Dream] Worksheet: Alcohol, Medicine And Pain
Title Of Dream: Alcohol, Medicine And Pain
Date: August 11th, 2003 Shortly before 7 am

Dreamscape: Inside: Dulled. Muted. Blue. Familiar yet unknown.

Movement: Didn't move. I was transported from place to place.

Theme: Duality? Confusion. Lonliness. Emotional Pain.

Dream Concepts:
- Couple 1 (Interracial Couple): A duality of sorts. My Light and Shadow sides.

- Couple 2 (Dark Haired Couple): The darkness inside of me.

- Ashley: My Animus. The mother. In real life, Ashley is pregnant (as was in my dream). I think something is about to be born. Come to fruition.

Detail: I awoke with the numbers 6 and 7 in my head. Also the color blue was in my dream as well. A lot. All the colors were muted and dulled down. I remember vividly the salty taste of the tears and the blurry eyedness. I vividly recall my crotch hurting from being lifted. I also wondered why I couldn't leave. Why I felt trapped.

Current Mood: contemplative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

8:22 am
[Dream] Alcohol, Medicine and Pain
Pain

Scene 1


I was at [Unknown LJ tag]s house and I was in the kitchen with her roomate Ashley. I remember she was giving me some alcohol in shot glasses. I wasn't drinking them, I was just letting them sit. She said "Make sure you write these down so you know whats what when we cap them." The alcohol was a blueberry color. One of the labels was 'Twisted November Rain' and another was 'Dr. Tuttle's Enhanced Sparkling Grape Juice'

Scene 2

I was at a house. It was familiar but I dont recall where I was. The room colors were in grays and light blues. They were also dulled down. I was laying on the floor between two couches. The couch on my left had a couple. A man with blond hair and a black man. They were in their mid-30s. There was a couple on my right, both had black hair. I knew one of the guys to be a friend of the person's whose house we were in.

The couple on my left were cuddeling and talking among themselves and the couple on my right were reading personal ads in a newspaper. One of the guys started talking about sex toys and their sex life. The one talking about the toys was the one who found my jockstrap I remembered I tried hiding under the couch. He thought it was his and realized it wasn't. He said it looked pretty worn out. He said he would have to go to his livejournal community and talk about this.

I blushed and said it was mine. They started talking again and I was standing. The black guy said he could pick me up easily with his fingers. He placed all his fingers (thumbs excluded) in my groin area and began to lift me. he succeeded but it hurt.

My medicine kicked in and I started getting really dizzy and blurry eyed. They wondered what was going on and the blond guy explained it was a side effect of my AIDS medicine. I felt ashamed and embarrased. I tried to get to the bedroom where I could lay down and I kept bumping into the hallway walls.

I eventually made it into the bedroom where I collapsed on the bed, crying. The room was dark. I was crying but it sounded like I was making these weird noises. I just remember a thought popping into my head. Chest. As in my own. My left eye was leaking tears faster than my right and my tears tasted extremely salty. It seemed like no matter what I would do, the tears would still come into my mouth. I wanted to leave and felt I couldn't.

Current Mood: contemplative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Sunday, August 10th, 2003
11:22 am
[Magick] Divinations and Thoughts
If you follow me over at angelsboi, then you know what is happening in my life. A friend of mine, tupper26, posted an online rune caster. I tried it out to see what it would say. Being a semi technopagan, I actually believe the online randomness =)

Rune Casting ResultsCollapse )

Current Mood: Contemplative

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

8:38 am
[Dream]Upset
Date: August 10, 2003

I was in the middle of a dream and I know it involved Randy. I knew I was dreaming but I wasn't Lucide Dreaming. I was awoken from my slumber by the complex security guard wanting to know if I knew anyone who drove a Ford Tarus.

At 6:50 am on a Sunday Morning after going to bed at 2:15 am.

Current Mood: aggravated

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Saturday, August 9th, 2003
4:28 pm
[Dream]ATM
Date: August 9th, 2003
Title: ATM

I just remember Randy being at the ATM machine and saying "Well thats it. My checking account is closed." And he held up 3 dollar bills.

Current Mood: calm

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Friday, August 8th, 2003
11:20 am
[Magick] Altered Perception - Angel Day? Guide Communication?
Date: Friday, August 8th, 2003
Date: 11:06

I am baked. My ex and I broke up last night due to my illness. My friend Keith wanted me to have a me day and not be alone.

Keith: "Are you having an Angel Day?"

Ryan: "No. I didnt do the spell this morning."

Keith: So? You can still have an Angel Day."

Current Mood: high

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Thursday, August 7th, 2003
8:46 am
[Dream][Magick]
Well the Dream Guild is almost done. I am still working on trying to come up with an invocation. I want to kick this community off right!

I didnt really dream of anything last night except a white pill. Round. I dont remember anything else.

Current Mood: Here

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Wednesday, August 6th, 2003
9:59 am
[Dream] Worksheet: A Journey In Two Scenes
Title Of Dream: A Journey In Two Scenes
Date: August 5th, 2003 4:36 am

Dreamscape: Outside: Unknown. New Territory. Inside: Metallic. Transport. Hard.

Movement: Didn't move. I was transported from place to place.

Theme: Journey. Roots. Duality.

Dream Concepts:
- Quiet Boy/Quiet Girl: A duality of sorts. My Light and Shadow sides.

- The Bus Driver: The inner me who is taking me on roads never traveled.

- Boy With Dark Hair/Girl With Blond Hair: The Anima and Animus inside telling me to be serrious yet stay playful.

- Freddy Kruger: The Root Archetype. Not the boogie man. It was because of the first Nightmare On Elm Street movie that I became fascinated with dreams. I also think its because I really wanna see the new movie.

- Baron Samedi: Death Archetype. He is the Voodoo Loa of the dead and crossroads. Death is a journey and with my diagnosis of AIDS, I have started a difficult one.

Detail: Slimy subway walls, the business card, "At Line One. Pull Cord", Buss, Dog suit, Boys in dark clothing, Girls in light clothing, Day being eclipsed, "1, 2 Freddy's Coming For You.", the time I awoke (4:36) equals to be 13.

Current Mood: calm

(1 Spells Cast | Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

9:54 am
[Dream] A Journey In Two Scenes
Scene 1

I was in a subway station. Ive never actualy been to one but Ive seen them on movies and it looked like that. Baron Samedi (Loa of the Dead) hands me a white business card with black deco trim. It reads: At Line One. Pull Cord. I get onto the subway with my black Ogio backpack.

Scene 2

As soon as I get on the subway car, I realize its not a subway car. Its a school bus. But its laid out differently. Mainly there are fewer seats and there are two metal poles in the center of the bus. I sit between the two poles with my back against one and my leg against the other. My backpack hasn't left my side.

There are people on the bus. 6 of them. A unknown boy dressed in dark clothing in the back keeping to himself, a young girl dressed in light clothing in the front keeping to herself. There is the driver, myself and two others. The last two are also a boy and girl and they were near me in the center of the bus. The girl had blond, wavy hair and the boy had dark, spikey hair and wore glasses. Ive never seen them before but I felt like they were my friends.

The boy was dressed in a dog costume but had a animatronic wizard mask. He tried scaring the girl but she laughed and asked to see the mask. He obliged and gave it to her and she tossed it against the far bus wall. She rolled her eyes and smiled at me as the boy retrieved it. We asked him what he was doing and he said "There is a contest at the toy store and I want to win a Sleep-A-Way Puppy."

I then noticed it went from noon to almost night. Like an eclipse actually. I looked around and realized we were someplace unfamiliar and were not on the right course. I mention it to the driver and the boy with glasses looks to the girl and says "Can you say Amy?"

We are in the suburbs and near a lot of really wealthy houses. It didn't feel right. I then heard rhyming. "1, 2 Freddy's coming for you." I became Lucid at this point. I said "Oh shit." I stood up and closed my eyes trying to pull myself out.

It was hard but I did. I woke up at 4:36 am and couldn't get back to sleep. As I sat pondering this strange dream this morning, I realize the time on the clock equaled to 13. 4 + 3 = 7 + 6 = 13

Current Mood: calm

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
10:42 pm
[Dream][Magick] Update - Angel Day; Update - Motherly Conflict
Dream: Motherly Conflict

I went to the BRAC Center tonight for group. I walk in and see Sherri who looks dishelved wearing blue. I notice the center is a bit darker then usual. I make note and talk to her.

I told her I thought I had an appointment with her today but its in a week. She tells me it was a good thing because none of her appointments were able to get their full hour. Seems someone broke into the Center last night.

A precognative dream perhaps? Maybe. My fingers arent run over and I still havent seen my mom drive a SUV.

* * *


Update: Angel Day

Today was interesting. I did the spell as told and the following things happened:

- I turned on the TV to Lenny Kravitz saying: "Jesus Christ was the original rockstar and rebel."

- I saw a gold angel statue at the BRAC Center which I hadnt noticed before.

- I was at a friends house and as much as I had been out on the porch I never noticed a sheet of paper with a scribbling of an angel on it.

- I saw Piglet

- Homer had a vision quest on Simpsons. I was doing an Animal Spirit Calling today.

- The following songs were heard in the order: Torn, Miss Independent, Youre The One, Fighter

Current Mood: awake

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

10:04 am
[Magick][Dream] A Few Dream Tips
Bed Time Tea
- Star anise, cinnamon and nutmeg is said to enhance psychic awareness

Bed Time Bath
- Jasmine, orange and lavender oils are said to enhance relaxation and dreaming. Jasmine: 10 drops. Orange: 5 drops. Lavender: 5 drops. Anoit a blu candle with these oils as well and relax!

- Remember to annoit your Third Eye with lavender and jasmine oils.

Dream Pillow
- Take a clean fancy napkin or handkerchief.
- Put a cotton ball n the middle with a drop or two of jasmine, lavender or honey suckle oil.
- Add a few lavender buds and lemon balm leaves. Toss in a couple of rose petals.
- Bundle up the napkin or handkerchief and tie with a blue or lavender silk ribbon.
- Place under pillows, bed linnens and even your underwear drawer.

Current Mood: Magickal

( Do You Wish To Cast A Spell?)

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